The Most Painful Decision
by hybridphoenix
Summary: Lily was Snape's best friend and almost girlfriend.Why did she end up with James,whom she hated?My take on this tired and over used theory.Not really SSLP but more of a friendship kind of story.One shot unless you want more.


The Most Painful Decision  
  
Disclaimer:Owns nothing except plot,and poosibly not even that.  
  
Summary:Lily was Snape's best friend and almost girlfriend.Why did she end up with James,whom she hated?My take on this tired and over used theory.Not really SS/LP but more of a friendship kind of story.One shot unless you want more.  
  
---Flashback---  
  
"Severus...can I sit here?"Lily Evans asked,gesturing to the empty seat besides the scowling boy.Taking the silence as an affirmative,she set her books next to him and sat down.His scowl deepened and he hurriedly took his books and moved to the furthest table he could find before saying 'Don't follow me,mudblood',ignoring the tears that gathered in the Gryffindor's eyes.He didn't care.Or did he?  
  
---End Flashback---  
  
"Hi Sev!"Lily cried,not too loudly,or Madam Pince would throw both the Slytherin and the Gryffindor straight out of the library."Evans."He replied calmly,clearing some parchment from the chair that was next to him.She sat down,not turned off by the cold treatment.She glanced over at the neat writing and remarked"Are you writing and essay or a novel?"His minuscule handwriting had covered three pages of parchment,and he was starting on his fourth."The length of my essay is not your business,is it?"Severus replied.In his mind,though,churned a question-"Should I tell her,or not?"  
  
He struggled in his mind.He was forced by his parents to take the Dark Mark and serve Voldemort.He had thought it honourable and great to be part of this plan,but after the first torture,he knew what a great mistake he had made and he went straight to Dumbledore,the headmaster,who knew that he could not opt our of Voldemort's scheme,as he was in Voldemort's inner circle as his prized potions master-the other death eaters could barely brew a simple healing potion without melting the cauldron,causing Voldemort to rely heavily on him.Too heavily for his liking.  
  
Dumbledore had told him his choices,and in the end he had reluctantly consented to being a spy for the order of the phoenix.He had personally taught him the art of Occlumency,to avoid letting his secrets known by Voldemort.And yet,he still grappled in his mind with the question that seemed to consume him whole-"What should he do with Lily?"  
  
Should he tell her?He was sure that she would understand,but she would feel the need to stand by him,and he couldn't allow her to take such a risk and deprive her of her happiness.If he didn't...he really couldn't stand the thought living without that cheery Gryffindor.Although he would rather perform the cheering charm on himself in front of the whole school than to admit it,she always brightened up his day with her sincere smiles,and her sincere attitude.Yet...  
  
Making up his mind,he tore a piece of parchment and scrawled 'Meet at the astronomy tower tonight at eleven',and slipped it neatly in her transfiguration book.A look of surprise crossed her face,but she continued her essay while Severus Snape stalked out,stiffening his resolve for what he was about to do.  
  
At ten minutes to eleven exactly,he started on his way to the astronomy tower,thinking about what he was going to say."I'm just like a gryffindor."he thought,which was surprisingly correct.Not even the vaunted Gryffindors would give up their girl they admired and loved,especially Lily Evans,the head girl and the cleverest witch in the school,who had no lack of suitors.Yet she had chosen the scraggly Slytherin,who was about to give her up for good.Her own good.  
  
She turned up,with a sunny smile on her face,which challenged Severus's resolve even more.Yet he swallowed hard,and said what he had rehearsed in his head a thousand times ever since he decided to become a spy for Albus Dumbledore."I think we should stop seeing each other."Why?Don't you want more of those good times we had together?"Lily cried,out loud,since no one ever ventured up to the Astronomy tower except couples in love for a romantic interlude."Because,"he purred,his voice struggling not to crack,"I d on't want to be seen with a mudblood.Got that?"With that,he stalked off,ignoring the tears gathering in his eyes and Lily's.  
  
It was the most painful decision for him,but the best for her.He watched with tears in his eyes from the astronomy tower as she walked off with James Potter into the sunset the next day.She would never smile at him again,but every smile she gave James Potter he would take as the ones she used to give him. 


End file.
